Why people have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with evils, cause misery, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, money, age dissimilarity, religious upbringing, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, discreet dating for married.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your family or anyone else? You would need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest group, colossal truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a man I actually appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our ordinary concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.